Good!...yet bad...
Well last week my parents told me that I can go to White Stone whenever I like as long as it doesn't interfere with anything important e.g. college, work etc...
This was quite strange and out of the blue. I really wasn't expecting it and thanked God for it.
Then proceeded to go on wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday and sunday!
However, tonight, I asked my parents about baptism again and it went back to the idea of "you can't decide 'til you're 18". Grrr -_- that just isn't helpful! So now I'm not entirely sure what to do. I definately want to be baptised before july next year... yet apparently I can't...Hopefully some help may happen when they come round on thursday.
Well, night night folks. I'm tired
Bye!
This was quite strange and out of the blue. I really wasn't expecting it and thanked God for it.
Then proceeded to go on wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday and sunday!
However, tonight, I asked my parents about baptism again and it went back to the idea of "you can't decide 'til you're 18". Grrr -_- that just isn't helpful! So now I'm not entirely sure what to do. I definately want to be baptised before july next year... yet apparently I can't...Hopefully some help may happen when they come round on thursday.
Well, night night folks. I'm tired
Bye!
posted by Andy at 12:24 am
2 Comments:
With you all the way, Andy.
Thanks,
Now it's got to cancelling saturday cuz they dont want me to go.
to explain the whole thing, here is a conversation with Nick that I had earlier. It's quite long. Here it is:
[11:12:40] Andy Gardner says: dear me
[11:13:39] Andy Gardner says: i seem to have slightly displeased my mother
[11:13:54] Nick Porter says: Oh dear
[11:14:00] Nick Porter says: how did you manage that?
[11:14:37] Andy Gardner says: talked about baptism and how it would mean that i wouldn't be going to her church anymore
[11:14:43] Nick Porter says: ah
[11:15:00] Nick Porter says: well - it is an issue we have to get to the bottom of
[11:15:09] Andy Gardner says: and she says its exactly how she said it would be before i started going round there and you are taking me away from them
[11:15:23] Nick Porter says: right
[11:15:32] Andy Gardner says: and she was crying a bit
[11:15:35] Nick Porter says: and I guess she doesn't beleive that it's your choice
[11:15:53] Andy Gardner says: i think she thinks it is
[11:15:59] Andy Gardner says: but she thinks im rejecting her
[11:16:08] Nick Porter says: right
[11:16:23] Nick Porter says: So we need to think of ways that you can show that you're not
[11:16:38] Andy Gardner says: it all moved on to how im moving out when im 18 aswell
[11:17:15] Andy Gardner says: i tried to explain that i dont want to leave because i don't want to be with her, it was because i wanted to live for god
[11:18:01] Nick Porter says: I can understand that it's going to be difficult for her
[11:18:11] Andy Gardner says: mmm
[11:18:26] Andy Gardner says: and she wondered why they were going round to ws again
[11:18:43] Andy Gardner says: cuz she doesnt like going there cuz she doesnt know anyone
[11:18:56] Andy Gardner says: and my dad just doesnt even like going to visit his own family
[11:20:01] Andy Gardner says: and she doesnt have a problem with anyone there personally but she doesnt like the beliefs and that you are splitting up families by nott letting them go to the same church when thy are baptised
[11:20:15] Andy Gardner says: and stuff like that
[11:20:37] Nick Porter says: well that's part of the point of them coming over on Saturday - to air the issues
[11:20:48] Andy Gardner says: and she doesnt like the fact that you can only marry within the "religion"
[11:21:12] Nick Porter says: And to deal with mis-information - like that one
[11:21:24] Andy Gardner says: mmm
[11:21:48] Nick Porter says: What the covenant says (so it's only for covenant members) is - "If I marry then I desire only to marry within this covenant"
[11:21:51] Andy Gardner says: i didnt think i would say anymore as im not to well versed on the subject
[11:22:12] Nick Porter says: so it's not a ban on marrying outside the church, but a desire to marry within
[11:22:27] Andy Gardner says: yeh thats what we were talking about, when i move in
[11:22:35] Andy Gardner says: yeh i tried to explain that
[11:22:50] Nick Porter says: Suggest to her that she gets together the kind of things that are worrying her and she can ask what she likes on Saturday
[11:23:05] Andy Gardner says: she still thinks i cant get baptised til im 18 too
[11:23:13] Andy Gardner says: yeh
[11:23:15] Andy Gardner says: w
[11:23:19] Andy Gardner says: ill try that
[11:23:26] Andy Gardner says: i think she's stopped crying
[11:23:50] Andy Gardner says: i would have argued back but im not entirely certain on the topic
[11:23:52] Nick Porter says: contrary to some people's beleif we're not into splitting up families
[11:24:03] Andy Gardner says: lol
[11:24:23] Nick Porter says: it's just that sometimes it can seem that way because church life tends to be a bit on the busy side!
[11:24:32] Andy Gardner says: she was on about not going to the same church and not playing in the band again
[11:24:37] Andy Gardner says: amongst a few other things
[11:24:43] Andy Gardner says: slightly
[11:24:52] Nick Porter says: and sometimes, (like in my case) leaving home and moving into comunity were at the same time
[11:25:25] Andy Gardner says: mmm
[11:25:36] Nick Porter says: so that tends to get the two all mixed up - if I'd left home before then there wouldn't have been quite the same emotional thing about church / comunity
[11:25:39] Andy Gardner says: well she doesnt think im being brainwashed...
[11:25:44] Andy Gardner says: yeh
[11:25:46] Nick Porter says: that's a good start!
[11:26:21] Nick Porter says: It should be just James, Anna, me and the kids on Saturday - so a good group for talking through things that are concerning her
[11:26:34] Andy Gardner says: well i also pointed out that "for example, if i hadnt found white stone or the ja then i wouldnt just move out when im 18 and live in a flat or something just because i could"
[11:27:24] Nick Porter says: Yeah - most parents find it difficult when their children want to leave home
[11:27:26] Andy Gardner says: or "because i don't want to be with you"
[11:27:32] Nick Porter says: and I think it's harder when it's an only child
[11:27:44] Andy Gardner says: "im only doing it so i can live for god"
[11:27:56] Andy Gardner says: although i suppose she doesnt understand that really
[11:28:00] Andy Gardner says: probably
[11:28:08] Nick Porter says: I think it's also important not to diss her church too much
[11:28:18] Andy Gardner says: i didnt
[11:28:24] Nick Porter says: good
[11:28:41] Andy Gardner says: i just said that i wouldnt be going there anymore
[11:29:25] Nick Porter says: Do you know what her relationship with God is like
[11:29:26] Nick Porter says: ?
[11:29:31] Andy Gardner says: lacking
[11:29:49] Nick Porter says: I did wonder
[11:30:03] Nick Porter says: She really does remind me of my mum so much!
[11:30:18] Andy Gardner says: well she was surprised when i said that i talk to god
[11:30:20] Andy Gardner says: lol
[11:30:26] Andy Gardner says: so yeh, very lacking
[11:31:05] Nick Porter says: Right - so we need to pray for her to hear from God
[11:31:12] Andy Gardner says: mmm
[11:31:15] Andy Gardner says: i was thinking that
[11:32:01] Nick Porter says: I think talking about your experience of God and what you see him doing in people could start her thinking about where she is at with Him
[11:32:14] Andy Gardner says: mmm
[11:32:23] Nick Porter says: and help lead her forwards
[11:33:05] Andy Gardner says: woo now ive just moved to "your not getting any christmas presents this year then if you're just gonna donate them all to them or sell them and give the money to them"
[11:33:15] Andy Gardner says: so i said "ok then"
[11:33:32] Nick Porter says: that's a nice way out of the xmas problem!
[11:33:35] Andy Gardner says: lol
[11:33:56] Andy Gardner says: probably means no birthday presents either :(
[11:36:06] Andy Gardner says: now she wants to cancel saturday -_-
[11:36:11] Nick Porter says: I'm sure a lot of this is an initial reaction
[11:36:14] Nick Porter says: ah
[11:36:37] Nick Porter says: have you said about using it to talk about concerns?
[11:36:46] Andy Gardner says: no not yet
[11:36:56] Nick Porter says: that's probably the next then
[11:36:56] Andy Gardner says: ill say it when she comes back
[11:37:02] Andy Gardner says: she's getting the car out
[11:37:07] Nick Porter says: right
[11:37:12] Andy Gardner says: and im going to the loo
[11:37:14] Andy Gardner says: brb
[11:40:39] Andy Gardner says: back
[11:40:45] Andy Gardner says: this isnt fun
[11:46:22] Nick Porter says: No - I remember it well
[11:46:33] Andy Gardner says: me 2
[11:46:52] Nick Porter says: 'cos you haven't been to sleep yet
[11:47:02] Andy Gardner says: sure y not
[11:47:18] Nick Porter says: that's your usual reason for not remembering
[11:47:27] Andy Gardner says: mmm
[11:52:51] Andy Gardner says: ok now you have brainwashed me
[11:53:33] Andy Gardner says: oh for crying out loud, this is not working
[11:55:06] Nick Porter says: ah
[11:55:09] Nick Porter says: anything in particular?
[11:55:20] Andy Gardner says: dunno
[11:55:23] Andy Gardner says: wanting to be there?
[11:58:46] Andy Gardner says: i said that they could talk to you and that you have all been through it, hence being invited
[11:58:51] Andy Gardner says: i said that ayt some point
[11:59:42] Nick Porter says: I suspect that in a bit she may well have calmed down and will come on Saturday to talk about stuff
[12:00:44] Andy Gardner says: yeh she said"they've all been through it...all rejected their parents...moved out at 18...17..."
[12:00:48] Andy Gardner says: i hope so
[12:01:02] Nick Porter says: I was 22 when I moved in
[12:01:09] Andy Gardner says: mmm
[12:01:15] Andy Gardner says: i thought that
[12:01:17] Andy Gardner says: well...
[12:01:29] Andy Gardner says: i thought that not everyone was 18 when they moved in
[12:01:46] Nick Porter says: I don't think anyone at White Stone moved in at 18
[12:01:57] Andy Gardner says: probably not
[12:02:00] Nick Porter says: a lot are ex Warwick students and moved in after Uni
[12:02:06] Andy Gardner says: mmm
[12:02:09] Nick Porter says: or even a couple of years after Uni
[12:02:15] Andy Gardner says: mmm
[12:02:38] Nick Porter says: I think Jeanette may have moved in quite young
[12:03:05] Andy Gardner says: right
[12:03:48] Nick Porter says: and no-one has rejected their parents. Quite a few of the parents who live at a distance (and most children do move away from where their parents live these days) come and stay at the house from time to time
[12:04:01] Andy Gardner says: i pointed that out
[12:04:07] Andy Gardner says: never seen yours though
[12:04:16] Andy Gardner says: seen tschaka's dad
[12:04:18] Nick Porter says: They have been once - though not to stay
[12:04:23] Andy Gardner says: and anna's parents
[12:04:26] Nick Porter says: and I go and see them
[12:04:29] Andy Gardner says: mmm
[12:04:30] Nick Porter says: and James' mum
[12:04:35] Nick Porter says: and Jeanette's parents
[12:04:38] Andy Gardner says: yeh
[12:04:43] Nick Porter says: (Dave's are in Australia)
[12:04:47] Andy Gardner says: lol
[12:04:52] Nick Porter says: and Sharon's mum
[12:04:58] Andy Gardner says: that could be slightly difficult then
[12:05:06] Nick Porter says: Thea's Dad has visited - though not stayed
[12:05:13] Nick Porter says: though her sister and brother have
[12:05:13] Andy Gardner says: right
[12:05:19] Nick Porter says: as has my brother
[12:05:23] Nick Porter says: and Stu's
[12:05:35] Andy Gardner says: mmm i get the idea
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